What?

So the NBA has decided to ban Caron Butler of the Dallas Mavericks from chewing on straws during games. Are you serious?

Hi Yahhhhh!!

I don't know......

New Nightmare

For better or for worse, here's the trailer...

On a Horse....

So you wanna reach higher notes....

The best way to reach high notes is to hold your right foot behind you...

Final goodbye from Caron

A Wizard says goodbye

Monday, February 22, 2010; A14
When you get traded, you don't get time to say goodbye. More important, you don't get the opportunity to say, "Thank you."

Thank you, to some of the best fans in the world. Representing you and representing this city has been an honor I will always cherish.

During my 4 1/2 years as a Wizard, I learned many valuable lessons, especially how to give back to the community. The most rewarding part of my time in Washington was meeting the incredible people of this city, and I will miss you all. Thank you to the countless individuals who helped me with the annual Coats for Kids, the Bike Brigade and my basketball camp. The memories are many and will never be replaced.

When I came to Washington, I dreamed of winning a championship. I thought I would play the rest of my career in this city, retire a Wizard and one day see my number hanging from the rafters at Verizon Center. I have learned that in basketball, as in life, nothing is guaranteed.

Thank you for the memories. My family and I will treasure them forever. Washington will always hold a special place in my heart.

Caron Butler, Dallas

The Washington Wizards traded Caron Butler to the Dallas Mavericks on Feb. 13

Ugh.

Why????

Why are we attracted to things that annoy us and drive us crazy????

Take that anyway you want to take it, but I'm actually referring to Facebook......
I get on there to see all the "updates" and bullshit sayings that people put up as their "status", but I don't really care what the fuck they're doing....and really who does, unless you're some stalker-ish perv, but the ones I actually look for are the ones that drive me crazy.....
You know the types.....

"gymmin' it...." "I think I'll buy my Porsche, some rims..." "today, I'll fix some smoked salmon, topped with lemon and ....." you get the point...

Now don't get me wrong, I've been guilty, on occasion, of some of these types of updates, especially with food, I may post some picture of what I'm eating with the caption...."mmmmm..."

(God, I annoy myself for even writing that)

but I HATE when I see those updates and I know the person, and I feel that they are NOTHING like the updates they portray themselves as....
either that or maybe I just never knew you as much as thought I did

"gymmin' it"......then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU NOT COCK DIESEL....you are mediocre poker...not cut, you look like someone who goes to the gym once every nevuary.....don't worry I'm not judging....maybe you are a cardio expert......"ahhh....workout felt good..."

"Thinking about buying a Lambo.."...where the fuck do you get your money??? Is mommy and daddy going to buy it for you? Or is it because you still live with Mommy and Daddy that you can buy that shit.....hey....don't get mad at me for hatin'....'cuz that exactly what I'm doing.....I'm just jealous that I can't get all the cool you can.....

"I'm have so much money, not sure what to do with it".....how about giving it to me.....I can use that money, and you know what??? I won't brag about it either....



I especially love the people who post pictures of them drunk and doing stupid shit somewhere.....it's like wow, you're a winner....instead of having a great drunk story that you can tell us, you're allowing us to SEE how stupid you were without the benefit of having your side of things told and coming up with a story in our heads instead.



ok....lemme stop, i know, i know, that's what facebook it all about, it allows people to express or say things they normally wouldn't say in person, but at the same time, it allows people to write things they may not realize is actually kind of douchey....


you know what? you can always go back and edit/delete your comments or posts....

But hey, I wouldn't want you to do that......then I wouldn't have a reason to look you up.

Stay classy, San Diego.

How brave are YOU?

So I may be a little late on this, but apparently there is a site out there called, "Chatroulette", that is the hottest new "thing" out there on the web. http://www.chatroulette.com/

Chatroulette is a controversial new site that pairs up strangers for video chats...

It actually started around November and is, believe it or not, run by some 17 year old jerkoff kid in Russia, who created it to play games....

The idea of it is definitely intriguing.....here's the concept in a nutshell.

Basically, you log on to their site, click, "Play" and the site randomly chooses "partners" for you...you have to use your webcam, so they can see you too, but once you pick the random person to chat with, you will be face to face with a complete stranger and it is up to you what you do at that point.

The possibilities are endless, you can end up chatting with some random boob about movies or sports, but you can also end up with some perv who want to jerk off right in front of you.....but that's the draw....you never know what you will get....who knows you can be face to face with some supermodel who wants to strip and show off (unlikely, since just as a topless beach, guys flood places like this hoping to see naked chicks, but really end up making it one big sausage-fest)
I also read that there are people who try to shock the shit out of others by pretending to commit suicide in front of the camera....

Obviously, there are groups who are protesting and would like to get it shut down, but to prove that anything was meant to harm on the site would be too difficult, there are too many jurisdictions that would have to be involved and not to mention the site connects people randomly, so that in itself would make it difficult to prove that one person intentionally meant to harm the other...

Are you ready to gamble????....remember you can always just close your browser.....

Let me know if you try it....if you do please leave a comment and let me and the 2 other people who read this blog know how it went.....

me??? I haven't tried it......yet.....

Money never sleeps

Gordon's the good guy now?




Follow me: http://www.twitter.com/whatjburtonsays

I don't stink, I just accidentally farted

So it actually made it to the news that I got kicked off my flight!


http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/02/18/smelly.passenger/index.html?hpt=T2

(CNN) -- Air travelers already have to deal with unruly passengers, excessively talkative ones and many other types who make flying miserable.
But a new low may just have been reached for weary road warriors: The overwhelmingly smelly passenger.

A man on Jazz Air, a regional airline in Canada that also serves U.S. cities, was reportedly kicked off a plane earlier this month because of his strong body odor.
"People were just mumbling and staring at him," said a woman who sat near the man, according to The Guardian, a newspaper in Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island, where the flight originated on February 6. It was a very uncomfortable situation, she added.

Another passenger described the smell as "brutal."
Jazz Air spokeswoman Manon Stuart confirmed that a passenger was "deplaned" from the flight, but she could not provide specific information about the person involved or the reason why he was asked to leave because of privacy issues.

"As an airline, the safety and comfort of our passengers and crew are our top priorities. Therefore, any situation that compromises either their safety or comfort is taken seriously, and in such circumstances, the crew will act in the best interest of the majority of our passengers," Stuart said.

"It's important to understand that our crew members make every effort to resolve a situation before it becomes an issue. Unfortunately, in some circumstances, it may become necessary for our crew to remove passengers."

The airline, like most air carriers, doesn't have a specific policy covering body odor, Stuart said.

Yet another KICK ASS RED BAND Trailer!!!

MUST WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!

http://www.twitter.com/whatjburtonasays

Tiger Woods speaks today

Tiger Woods is set to speak in front of a small group of handpicked reporters.....

I guess he may be planning on his comeback from his "indefinite leave of absence" from golf. That didn't take long aye? He'll be speaking during WGC-Accenture Match Play, whom if you di-int (as in didn't) know dropped him as a sponsor earlier this year.....is this Tiger saying F-you to them??? BTW, did you know that Accenture's slogan was "We know what it takes to be a Tiger".....hahaha....okay I'll take 2 of those please...

Ernie Els was kind enough to chime in on the situation by saying, "It's selfish...."

Of course it was Ernie, Tiger wants to take the spotlight away from you and the tournament, considering its only BECAUSE of Tiger that anyone give a shit about the tournament this weekend, besides anyone over the age of 65!!!!

I also think it's funny how Tiger's picture in Vanity Fair (yes, I know its an old picture and its been around for a while) makes him look tough......this is the guy who got his ass beat by his wife...

So he goes to a sex addict clinic, and is now ready to speak to the world.....is he cured?

I'd like to see what its like in one of those sex clinics, there's gotta be some great stories to hear in there......they should make a reality show of that.....or is there already one out there.....

i hate work.....oops....sorry about that....anyways....let's see what he has to say today shall we?



http://www.twitter.com/whatjburtonasays

Get Him to the Greek

Follow Jack Burton on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/whatjburtonsays

Winter Olympics

Who else is pumped for Figure Skating pairs????


Sorry I just wanted to use this picture......


Follow Jack Burton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/whatJBurtonsays

Ash Wednesday

This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there.

For all you "Christians" out there....today is Ash Wednesday.

It's the first day of Lent, which means most of you are "giving something up".

Most of you will pick something easy, so you'll succeed....

Me? I'm giving up fried foods.....yes FRIED. How hard can that be???

Well when 90% of the food you eat is FRIED, then....my friend.....this is going to be a long M0743RF7$%^ing! season...

This means I'll probably be eating Cheerios and Ramen for 40 days and 40 nights.

Well you know what Ol' Jack always says... what the hell?

Here we go.

Follow Jack Burton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/whatJBurtonsays

The Substitute

Okay....Episode is called, "The Substitute"

Smoke man/Fake Locke is in a "substitute" body, Real Locke gets buried.

Locke in alternate timeline gets fired and hired as a "substitute" teacher.

Jacob brought everyone on the island to find a "substitute" or replacement for him to protect the island.

Do we believe fake Locke? He's apparently trapped against his will on the island and needs Sawyer or someone else as recruits to get off.

Ilana said that fake Locke is trapped in his current body.

Lost numbers came up next to the Lost passengers.

4: Locke
8: Hurley
15: Sawyer
16: Sayid
23: Jack
42: Sun/Jin

Maybe the Shepherd on the list was Kate after a future wedding. The reason for this guess was that when Jack operated on Ben in the Season 3 episode, “The List,” one of the others yelled, “But he’s not even on Jacob’s List"

Crossed out names, were passengers that were ruled out as "substitutes"

Ben Linus is a European History teacher.

Hurly owns a temp agency, with Rose running it.

Locke passes on Jack's offer for a free consult, accepts his condition.

Locke seems to have a much healthier relationship with his father. (Did you catch his picture in Locke’s cubicle?)

Who was the boy? Why was fake Locke aggravated/scared of him?

Sawyer's favorite book is "Of Mice and Men".....

What else did we learn?

Follow Jack Burton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/whatJBurtonsays

Rude Boy

Kinda jockin' M.I.A.'s style, but Riri's much hotter.

Follow Jack Burton on Twitter: www.twitter.com/whatJBurtonsays

Yay! Follow Me mutherfockers.

"Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."

http://twitter.com/whatJBurtonsays

I'm on twitter, so now all 3 of you can follow me.

Miss me?

Between this and Kick-Ass, my spidey sense tells me there's a certain trend going on.....Hollywood is so NOT original.

Big Trouble in Little America

Reprinted from the Huffington Post:

Big Trouble in Little America

David Sarota
Political journalist, best-selling author and syndicated newspaper columnist
Posted: November 30, 2008 09:55 PM

I watched one of the two Best Worst Movies in film history this weekend - Big Trouble in Little China (the other Best Worst Movie is Army of Darkness). Whether brought on by the natural high of a leftover-filled stomach, or the artificial high of Thanksgiving night Maker's Mark, I had an epiphany that this movie is a highly accurate -- if artistically absurd -- portrayal of a deeply important aspect of how America sees itself in the world.

The main character, Jack Burton (Kurt Russell), is obviously cast as America. Indeed, director John Carpenter pretty overtly wants him to be something of a Western cowboy (for instance, though a truck driver, Burton carries his belongings in a saddle bag). As the Toronto Star praised Russell in its review, "He does a great John Wayne imitation." Meanwhile, David Lo Pan and his gang are the Rest of the World, and more specifically, the Non-Aligned Countries, otherwise known as the Axis of Evil.

The plot casts these Foreigners as having created a terrorist cell in San Francisco's Chinatown. In fact, every Chinese person in the movie -- good guy or bad guy -- is made to seem like their first and foremost loyalty is not to the United States, but to China ("China is here, Mr Burton!") -- a key fear propagated by American pop culture, from the McCarthy witchhunts for communist infiltrators to George W. Bush's domestic "war on terror." And Burton's reaction to their idiosyncrasies and local cultures is the stunned/disgusted "no, god, please what is that?"
So how does Burton/America deal with Lo Pan/Foreign Terrorists? He has no plan at all, other than to head to their headquarters and bust in guns blazing. The lack of planning is not an accident or something looked down on -- it's how he rolls and he's proud of it, as evidenced by his repeated refrain that he doesn't need to plan because "it's all in the reflexes." And every time he says this line, we're supposed to laugh and cheer with him, because this is how we roll.
We don't plan when dealing with foreigners who have different customs and cultures and who threaten our interests -- we don't need to plan because planning is for pussies. We're fellow truck-driver cowboys with daggers in pocket of the boots we're wearing over our acid wash jeans -- and dammit, "it's all in the reflexes."

While Burton stumbles a lot and makes an idiot out of himself, his lack of planning ultimately works. He defeats the evil foreigners, saves the day and gets the girl (who he's too cool to keep around). The moral of the story is that while America might make some blockheaded mistakes, they're honest ones and because we're the "good guys," we'll end up winning the day. There may be "big trouble" but it's manageable because compared to American power, everything is little (in the movie's case what's little is China, but it could be anything -- Iraq, Al Qaeda, etc.).
Big Trouble in Little China debuted in 1986 -- arguably the peak of American world supremacy. The Soviet Union was on its heels about to collapse and there were no other superpowers, or emerging superpowers. So, in that sense, the movie was a vaguely accurate metaphorical depiction of the United States at the moment. We could kick some ass without really having to think about it.

That said, the tongue-in-cheek flavor of the film suggests Carpenter is using the Burton character to deliberately ridicule American hubris (and let's not forget the very end of the movie just before the credits roll: the crazy-eyed demon about to get his final revenge on Burton could be the world taking revenge on that hubris). So, in that sense, the movie was actually a prescient warning -- one that's more relevant today than when it first came out. China and India are both on the ascent economically and militarily, and the global power game has gone stateless and transnational. So while we still like to see ourselves as the chest-puffed swashbuckling Jack Burton from the film's poster, that's just not what we are -- or can be -- anymore. Our Jack Burton-ism is no longer the rip-roaring hee-hawin' adventures through the Grenadas and Panamas of the world -- we're knee-deep in battles with much bigger and better-prepared enemies.

And so the the question is whether we -- and by extension, our our pop culture -- can acknowledge that reality?
It seems to me we refused to accept that when we re-elected George W. Bush in 2004 -- a President Jack Burton if there ever was one. But it also seems to me that perhaps we are beginning the process of accepting reality when we elected Barack Obama, largely because Obama articulated a vision of America being far more humble and controlled on the world stage.
Sure, reflexes (i.e. how we react in a short-term crisis) are still going to be important. But with our global challenges becoming far more long-term and structural in nature, it's not going to be "all in the reflexes" nor can we afford to just waltz into delicate situations against well-prepared enemies without any other plan than kickin' some ass.

Because of population growth trends, an Asian industrial revolution, and the decline of our empire-level power, the featured film of the day will increasingly be Big Trouble in Little America. We're up to dealing with that trouble, but only if we retire Jack Burton to the Pork Chop Express for good.

My Sweetie/Pretty Girls

Gotta support DC/MD/VA.

Reppin' DMV, baby!

Wale - My Sweetie (directed by tabi Bonney) from tabi Bonney on Vimeo.

Wale - Pretty Girls (feat. Gucci Mane & Weensey) from Dre on Vimeo.

This looks a tit bit better....

This might be all the funny parts of this movie, so enjoy.

Slow day....

Boobies!!!

Happy Sunday

hilarious.

One way to pass time

I guess it's better than guns.

For those stuck in this blizzard

Cozy up next to fire and enjoy some Hamm and Buble'

Sheeeeeit

Ay dawg....gotta light? This budget shit is stressin' me the fuck out.

Oh, if you're anywhere outside of the Washington DC Area....

....Fucke' You.

The Golden Child Pt.2

This one stars Charlie Murphy as Mr. "yaro".

What we know....(SPOILERS from the Premier)

If you're worried about spoilers, then boohoo....you're lucky i even put it in the headline, because it's been 2 freaking days, since it aired, if you haven't seen it yet, you're a slacker that deserves to have everything spoiled, but I digress...



Juliette is really dead, not 'island dead'.



Despite what Jack and Dr. Daniel Farady led us to believe, setting off the hydrogen bomb known as “Jughead” did not quite reset everything. The bomb seems to have merged the past and present timelines and moved everyone to their correct time period. The Losties are now all in the same time period, which is known as “Island Present”. After the detonation of the bomb, Juliette is still on the island, physically unchanged which means she’s still dying and that really sucks for her.





Multiple timelines now exist?



While the bomb seems to have reunited the Oceanic Six with the Losties stuck in the 1970’s, it may have also created a separate timeline off the island. While I am not 100% sure that this separate (side timeline) timeline is exactly what it appears to be. We could actually be seeing a dream or vision like in the Locke centric episode, ‘Further Instructions’. In that episode we see the many of the main characters in the Sidney airport but in alternate lives, much like the new timeline, which also has major (Desmond on the plane) and minor (Hurley’s good luck) differences.





Sayid dies... briefly



Sayid did not fare as well as his friends in the 1970’s timeline. He was separated from the group, captured and later shot by Ben Linus’ jerk of a father. Things were not looking good for him at the beginning of the episode and they don’t get much better after he is taken to the Others Temple (much like Ben was after being shot by him) for a dip in their hot tub of life. At first the Others attempt to Sayid appears to work, and then fail, and then work again, which surprises everyone (including the 'new Others') and confuses Sayid.





Richard Alpert's past with the Man in Black



In this episode we learn that the mysterious ‘Man in Black’ knows Richard Alpert personally. In the first appearance of MiB in the season finale, we see a boat on the horizon which we assume is the Black Rock. From information found in the Lost ARG (Alternate Reality Game),The Lost Experience we know that the Black Rock was owned by Magnus Hanso, who was the great grandfather of Alvar Hanso (financial backer of the Dharma Initiative). After seeing Richard Alpert on the beach, the Man in Black mentions that it is nice to see him out of his “chains”. MIB's mention of chains makes us think of the skeletons found chained together on the ship and (Exodus, Part 2) in the Black Rock's past as a slave vessel.





The Man in Black is the Smoke Monster



The real shocker of the episode was the reveal that the Smoke Monster (aka Smokey) is not actually a monster, but instead the shape shifting Man in Black, Jacob's nemesis. We thought this reveal would come much later in the series, but instead we find out about Smokey pretty early on. Putting a face to the smoke monster puts his past activity in a new light. In the past, the smoke monster has taken the form of Yemi, Alex and most recently John Locke. We also learn that Smokey has an adversarial relationship with the others as well as Jacob. One interesting note is that Smokey wants to “go home”, even more than Juliette did. Two hours in to the final season of Lost and only sixteen more to go before it is over. We have learned a lot in a short time and we can't wait to see how these events play out over the season.

Kick-Ass (International Trailer) Kicks ASS!!!!

What strings do I have to pull to get me an advance copy of this movie???

For all my fellow nerds....

100 unanswered questions (from scifiwire.com)

1. Who is Jacob?
2. Is he good or is he evil?
3. How old is he?
4. What's up with the Loophole Guy?
5. Why does he need a loophole, and which one did he find?
6. Why does the Loophole Guy hate Jacob?
7. Is Jacob really dead?
8. Is Locke dead?
9. Is Juliet dead?
10. Did Jughead really blow up when the screen turned to white?
11. Why would the other survivors follow Jack's crackpot plan anyway?
12. Seriously, who says yes to blowing up the island to restart time anyway?

13. If so, did time reset and keep the Oceanic 815 from crashing?
14. Will Juliet and Sawyer find each other again if it did?
15. Will Kate and Jack finally get their act together and find true love?
16. What kind of damage would an explosion from a hydrogen bomb create?
17. And what the heck does any of this have to do with the survivors?
18. What's the deal with the four-toed statue?
19. If it was really a statue of the Egyptian goddess Taweret, why was it built?
20. Who broke it?
21. Why did Jacob live beneath it?
22. What happened to Ben's friend Annie?
23. Why does Dr. Pierre Chang use aliases?

24. What's the smoke monster?
25. Why does it have a taste for some people and not others?
26. What's up with the ash around Jacob's cabin?
27. Who broke the ash circle, and what does that mean?
28. How was the cabin able to change locations?
29. Why did Jacob stop using the cabin?
30. Why did the Oceanic Six have to go back?
31. Why did Miles decide to stay on the island?
32. What's up with the blast door map?

33. What happened to Claire?
34. Why did psychic Richard Malkin insist Claire raise Aaron?
35. What's up with Claire's implant?
36. Who is Richard Alpert really, and why doesn't he age?
37. How or why does the island heal people?
38. What's going on with the pregnancies?
39. What's the deal with Christian?
40. Why doesn't he just go off and be dead and leave Jack alone?
41. Who are Adam and Eve, the skeletons found in the caves?
42. What did the black and white stones on their bodies mean?
43. Why did DHARMA and the Others allow Rousseau's distress signal to continue to be transmitted?

44. Are Hurley's numbers really cursed?
45. Why is Walt special?
46. Why did Walt warn Locke not to open the hatch?
47. What happened to Walt in Room 23?
48. Why did Walt appear to other survivors dripping wet?
49. Why'd they kill off Charlie? We liked Charlie!
50. Will Charlie be back?
51. What's up with Libby?
52. Why was she a patient at Santa Rosa?
53. Why did she end up in Australia and on board Flight 815?
54. How much did it suck that Libby was killed before Hurley could get lucky?

55. Where does the donkey wheel come from?
56. How does it work?
57. How did Desmond get his clothes blown off after the hatch implosion?
58. How did Locke and Eko escape?
59. How did Penelope know to look for a magnetic anomaly?
60. How did Ben really become the leader of the Others?
61. Who's on Jacob's list, and what does it mean?
62. Why did Jacob diss Ben by not communicating with him while he was leader?
63. What's up with the Temple?
64. Why does Ben say that the Temple is for Others only?
65. Does the Monster have a connection with the Temple?
66. Was the ship that Jacob and Loophole Guy see sailing the Black Rock?
67. How did the ship end up in the middle of the jungle?
68. What happened to the crew?
69. Why is the ship's log important to Charles Widmore?

70. What are Widmore's plans for the island?
71. Who built the Lamp Post?
72. How did Eloise become the caretaker of the station?
73. Does Widmore know about it?
74. What's up with Charles Widmore, anyway?
75. Does he suck as a dad, or what?
76. What happened to the people the Others kidnapped?
77. What's up with the whispers?
78. Who's whispering?
79. Why did Jacob go touch each of the survivors in the past?
80. Why were these survivors chosen?
81. Why didn't Jacob try to protect himself when Ben stabbed him?
82. What is Ilana's connection to Jacob?
83. What favor did he ask of her?
84. Why did she order the cabin to be burned?
85. How much does she really know about the island?

86. What is Frank a candidate for?
87. Why did the supply drops continued after the Purge?
88. How do they find the island to make those drops?
89. Who is Henry Gale really, and how did he break his neck?
90. Who buried him?
91. Why isn't the island done with Desmond yet?
92. Who did the glass eye belong to, and why was it left in the Arrow?
93. What's up with the trouble between Eloise Hawking and Charles Widmore?
94. How did the feud start between Ben and Widmore?
95. What are the Rules?
96. How did the death of Alex change the Rules?
97. Will Sun and Jin ever get a chance to live happily ever after?
98. Will any of the survivors get a chance to live happily ever after?
99. Will the smoke monster get a chance to live happily ever after?
100. Will we be satisfied with the way Lost ends?

Are you ready???

I am gay for this show. The final season starts tomorrow night. Can you hear me giggling like a Japanese school girl?

tee hee hee....