He's bold, he's brash, and you better believe it!

That's right.....BITCH!!!!! heh heh heh heh

The Losers

Thoughts?

May 1

Ladies and Gentleman....DeBarge! I mean, Shane Mosley.

Looks like we get to see Mayweather vs. Mosley on May 1.

Oh....and he's agreed to random blood tests...

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/boxing/news/story?id=4870999

Machete! NSFW

They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.

She's Out of My League trailer (Red Band)

eh....this looks okay....

Money never sleeps.

No matter how much money you make, you'll never be rich.

OH WHAT A FEELING! TOYOTA!

Oh, Toyota.....WHAT A FEELING! how long before they go down?

http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/2010/jan/28/toyota-recall-widens-europe-china

Introducing....

sign me up.

iPad

Yay! Is it everything you had hoped for????? ugh.

Awkward....

What do y'all think?

Tizzle my Wizzle

Pills, Pills, all types of pills!!!!

Clean my balls, please.

Play with these clean balls, Denise.

Lost (Cliff Notes)

Slackers, go watch the show.

Conan vs. Jay Leno!!!

He's not taking it well, is he?

Free as a Bird

Conan jams "Freebird" w/ the supergroup. He will be BACK.

Did it again???

I love you, no matter how fuckin' weird you are.

Please watch this.

Funny as shit.

AAArgh....

haven't been able to do my usual surfing of the net, thanks to something called "work".....anyhoo here's something to keep you occupied.

Chris Farley: Fat Guy In a LIttle Coat

shelley | MySpace Video

Oops.

Some old guy at the Capitals vs. Flyers game got hit by a flying puck.

This guy tough as hell, when I got hit by a spit ball, I cried my eyes out.

Macgruber!

Yes they made it a movie.

Un-f'n-believable a.k.a. Jay, you slimy basterd pt. 2

Conan's 2004 Announcement - watch more funny videos

Jay, you slimy basterd

I before you, according to Jay.

Jay's 2004 Announcement - watch more funny videos

Deleted scene from Avatar

Funny shit. Even if you didn't see the movie.

Guess Who.

Does it matter?

They actually won.

Golden Globe winner "Best Picture", baby!

Oops....I lied....sorry Chargers fans

I SAID I was rooting for the J-E-T-S, but I was actually cheering for the Chargers....oh well, I tried San Diego.....I tried...so fuck off.

Stay classy, San Diego.

Sorry Jets Fans

I shall continue my onslaught, by rooting FOR the Jets.

Sorry Cowboy Fans Pt. 2

"Hail to the Redskins....." Welcome home, have a seat next to us and let's see who makes it to the Super Bowl.

Sorry Cowboys fans....

I may have fucked you guys over by rooting FOR you, here's to hoping that Favre chokes.

I Can Do A Mad Black Woman At A Reunion

No it's not a Tyler Perry movie......this actually looks funny.....

Make a time machine for me!

Ahhh....the '80's.....

Arenas pleads guilty to Felony

In other news, look at my cool new shirt.

Help Haiti

Wanna help the relief effort in Haiti and look cool at the same time?

100% OF THE PROCEEDS WILL BE DONATED to the YELE HAITI EARTHQUAKE FUND, which is an organization supported by Wyclef Jean. In order to send the donation as fast as they can, the Haitian Jack t-shirt will only be on sale from Friday January 15th to Friday January 22nd

Purchase this Collabo effort from Wyclef Jean x the Clipse here:

http://playcloths.bigcartel.com/product/haitian-jack-601-1205

You've got to be shitting me.

If only......

MUST SEE TV!!!!

Kimmel takes on Leno....TO HIS FACE!!!!!!!

Me, personally, I'd like a 3-D Slim Jim commercial

3D Porn? The studios are way ahead of you.

http://www.crunchgear.com/2010/01/13/3d-porn-the-studios-are-way-ahead-of-you/

Shy Ronnie

"'Cause you put on quite a show...."

Repo Men

Trailer rating: Semi-chub

Yowzers....

I can really care less about this movie, but any trailer with a naked chick, is worth checking out.

Where have you been????

"THERES SPACE FOR OL DAT I SEE" -M.I.A.

Support Conan!

Become a fan: http://www.facebook.com/imwithcoco

Lenovision!

Ha ha ha....fuck you, Jay Leno pt. deux!!!

These are a few of my favorite things... Pt. 1

Pho 75....Pho 95....Pho 88....been to one, been to them all right? Wrong.
This place is THE #1 Pho place in the DC/MD/VA area (at least according
Washingtonian magazine, but who cares what they say....listen to me dammit).

My suggestion(s), if you go there:

-On weekdays, get there before 1130am, or you're going to be standing in a long F'n line, even if it does move relatively fast.

-Order #11 (beef), you can't go wrong.

-Go on a cold ass day, nothing like hittin' Pho up when it's cold as shit.

-Drink lots of water afterwards, Pho makes you thirsty as fuck.

Buon giorno! Please go here, the subs rock, and the Pizza is mmm mmm mf'n good.

It is in the middle of some random strip mall, where the CVS and Giant are the anchor stores, so before you think twice, give it a chance, you will not regret it. Order a Milano sub and be on your way....

Oh and they have a picture of Sandra Bullock on the wall, when he used to live in Arlington, so you know what that means.....it HAS TO BE GOOD.....

Ahhhh....Ray's Hell Burger....Another "hole in the wall", well...when you walk in, that's exactly what it feels like, 'cause there ain't noooo space in that mf'r....but that's okay, their burgers more than make up for it....trust me....would I lie to you?

My suggestion: Big Poppa. you can't go wrong.

and if we're going to name drop on who went here, lemme just say a certain black president grabbed a burger here not too long ago....

(NO NOT JAY-Z, dumb ass)

enjoy.

Purrrrr......

Num num num num

Megan Fox for Armani...

http://hypebeast.com/blog/kma/2010/01/megan-fox-for-armani-2010-springsummer-campaign/

Conan leaving the Tonight Show

Haha...Fuck you NBC. Have fun, Leno....you asshole.

The following is the statement released by Conan O'Brien:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I've been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I've been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I've been absurdly lucky. That said, I've been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn't the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn't matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it's always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

http://tv.yahoo.com/blog/conan-o-brien-quits-tonight-show--911

Mayweather vs..?

Okay, so Manny Pacquiao vs. Joshua Clottey is set, Mayweather is looking for an someone to beat up on....err...fight... one of his options....Paulie Malignaggi.

I don't know about you, but I would consider getting this PPV over Manny's, just for the pure satisfaction of seeing this douche bag getting his face smashed in.

Yesterday was No Pants Day

Why don't I ever see this?

see an entire slideshow on this shit:

http://abcnews.go.com/Travel/slideshow?id=9515785

Breaking News! Mcgwire admits Steroid use, and No One Cares!

Popeye was my dad.

Money Manny Pesos is set for Mar 13!!!

This whole bloodtesting mess is making Floyd age rapidly.

Mayweather is set to fight on the same day as Manny 'Pacman' Pacquiao, making HBO choose sides....who are you going to watch?

Only tough guys pose like this.

This just in...John Travolta is tough.

Can you watch this and say with a straight face, "wow, John Travolta looks like a total badass!" ??

What did you do, James Cameron?

Please read this. I shit you NOT. It is real. Oh, if you have the same feelings as those in this article, please kill yourself.

From CNN:

"

(CNN) -- James Cameron's completely immersive spectacle "Avatar" may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

On the fan forum site "Avatar Forums," a topic thread entitled "Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible," has received more than 1,000 posts from people experiencing depression and fans trying to help them cope. The topic became so popular last month that forum administrator Philippe Baghdassarian had to create a second thread so people could continue to post their confused feelings about the movie.

"I wasn't depressed myself. In fact the movie made me happy ," Baghdassarian said. "But I can understand why it made people depressed. The movie was so beautiful and it showed something we don't have here on Earth. I think people saw we could be living in a completely different world and that caused them to be depressed."

A post by a user called Elequin expresses an almost obsessive relationship with the film.

"That's all I have been doing as of late, searching the Internet for more info about 'Avatar.' I guess that helps. It's so hard I can't force myself to think that it's just a movie, and to get over it, that living like the Na'vi will never happen. I think I need a rebound movie," Elequin posted.

A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site "Naviblue" that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.' "

For the full article: http://www.cnn.com/2010/SHOWBIZ/Movies/01/11/avatar.movie.blues/index.html

The lowdown on the new Karate Kid

I heard that Ralph Macchio had to turn this role down due to scheduling conflicts...wow he still looks like he can pull off the high school look.

So instead we get Jiggy Jaden Smith.

"Let me see...Paint the fence....homey!"

I hate to say this.....but it looks watchable.

Edgar Allen Poe kicks Sarah's Ass

Ravens 33 Palin 14

Brady 0.

Way to rock the Red, White, and Blue!

Eagle down

What the hell???? It's because I rooted for them isn't it? Sorry Philly. I fucked you guys over.

Somebody bring me back some money please!

There is no plan B

Well what do you think?

NFC Wildcard

Just because I can't find it in me to root for the Cowboys, I say....GO EAGLES!

Sorry.

This is what its all about.

C'mon Man!

http://sports.espn.go.com/sports/boxing/news/story?id=4808708

Dood....you and Pacman are fucking up boxing by not fighting. Who the fuck wants to watch Pacman fight Clottey? Je-sus H.

Just in case...

in case you didn't believe me that this movie is going to be the shit.
Kick-Ass Trailer 2 - Watch more Funny Videos

Watch for these Movies in 2010!

" I took something. I can see things no one else can see."


Okay, let me veer off of sports today, yesterday was just an outrageous day for sports in DC. Today let’s talk about upcoming movies in 2010. Of course there are plenty of movies, I can’t possibly talk about every movie, but these are the ones that I truly give a shit about. My “must-see” list.

In no particular order..

Get Him to the Greek

Now I’m a pretty big Judd Apatow fan, he seems to have the touch when it comes to comedies…Celtic Pride, Kicking & Screaming, Drillbit Taylor.....whoops! WTF you say? How about the 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Superbad, Pineapple Express, Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Well, Get Him to the Greek is a spin-off of the latter, bringing back Aldous Snow (Russell Brand) and more importantly Jonah Hill. Jonah Hill is NOT reprising his character from Forgetting Sarah Marshall, instead he’s playing an entirely different character, an intern. He needs to escort Aldous Snow to a concert in L.A. Mix Judd Apatow (producer) and Jonah Hill together and let the hilarity ensue. Now I thought the funniest thing in Sarah Marshall was Jason Segal, and the best thing was Mila Kunis, but Jonah’s a funny mother fucker. So him and Russell Brand? Can’t be that bad.


Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

What’s the premise? What the fuck kind of title is this? Let me mention one name and tell me what you think. Michael “George Michael Bluth” Cera. How about I mention another name? Edgar Wright. If those 2 names don’t ring any bells in your head, you don’t know dick about funny movies. (or you have a life and don’t care about shit like that….) Either way, Edgar Wright directed Hot Fuzz and Shaun of the Dead, two must see comedies, two of my favorite MOVIES, let alone comedies. Michael Cera is mother f’ing Michael Cera, google him so I can move on with this shit. Anyhoo, Cera plays Scott Pilgrim. He falls in love with a chick named Ramona V. Flowers, but to get to her he needs to get past her seven ex-boyfriends, who control her love life. They will kill anyone who tries to get with her. Sounds like a crazy comic book? That’s cuz it is, mother fucker. Check out who else is in this movie…Chris Evans, Brandon Routh, Aubrey Plaza, Jason Schwartzman…..damn this is going to be a funny ass movie…can’t wait.


Green Hornet

This is one of those movies that I usually wouldn’t give a shit about, but I found out that Green Hornet is being played by Seth Rogan and that changed everything. Now I’m curious to check it out, if Seth Rogan never made Observe and Report, then this might fall into the “oh shit I bet this movie is going to be Mother F’n Funny!” But he made Observe and Report and all expectations have fallen badly. That might be a good thing for this movie.


Black Swan

Okay so the title of this movie sounds pretty gay, right? Wait ‘til I tell you the premise. Two rival dancers in New York City. That’s it. Yes that’s sounds very gay. Now let me tell you who directs it. Darren Aronofsky. He directed Requiem for a Dream and The Wrestler. Still don’t give a shit? Let me tell you who’s in it. Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman play the rival dancers. I also hear they get it on, in a steamy sex scene. Guess what…this movie just moved up on my pole, way up. Get your head out the gutter.


Shutter Island

Martin Scorsese. Leonardo Dicaprio. Scary island. Crazy-what-the-fuck-is-going-on-trailer. ‘Nuff said.




Machete

Have you seen Grindhouse? If you did, do you remember seeing the “fake” trailer for Machete? Well, it wasn’t fake, this shit is coming out. “They just fucked with the wrong Mexican.” Best tagline ever. Added bonus? Jessica Alba, Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez (I’ve caught shit from my buddies for thinking she’s semi-hot….but hey…she is), and Steven F’n Segal.




Red Dawn

Sound familiar? How’s this? WOLVERINES!!!!! Yes, they remade THAT movie. Should I tell you who’s in it? I’m not gonna bother, ‘cuz you won’t know any of these f’ers anyway. Either way, I have to see this.



Inception

Did you like Dark Knight? Did you like Memento? How do you feel about Leonardo DiCaprio? Ever heard of Joseph Gordon Levitt? Well put them all together this is what you get. I’d tell you what it’s about, but I saw the trailer and I have no fucking clue what’s going on, but it looks cool as shit. That and Christopher Nolan has built up lots of good credit with his resume, that I have plenty of confidence this will be awesome.






Clash of the Titans

Another one of those “yes they remade it” movies. This is probably one of the earliest movies I can remember watching as a kid, beside Cannonball Run. I remember being scared as shit of Medusa and that crazy half man, half horse thing. I’m sure it will look a lot better than the stop motion claymation version of my childhood. Check it out.







The Expendables

While most kids in the 80’s grew up watching Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, Better Off Dead….for me it was Commando, Cobra, Terminator, and even shit like Runaway (Tom Selleck movie with the spider robots). This movie pays tribute to all those types of movies. Will it suck? Probably. But when you have Sylvester Stallone (also the writer and director), Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph “Drago” Lundgren, Mickey Rourke, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Eric Roberts in one movie……wow.






The A-Team

Close your eyes. Remember the theme song? Remember the Van? Remember Mr.T, Face, Hannibal, and Murdock. Now open your eyes and check this out.




Kick-Ass

Have you ever felt frustrated by crime and wanted to do something about it, but you grew up as a big pussy? Well imagine Peter Parker became Spider-Man, except that he never got bit by the spider and never got any super powers. Well, this is that movie. Basically a kid, wants to be a real-life superhero and DOES, without any money or powers. Google the Red-Band Trailer of this movie and you will shit yourself, it is that impressive. If you like the movie Wanted, more than likely you will LOVE this.

What movies are YOU looking forward to this year?

Agent Zeeeero

Well God Damn.....DC Sports is hot today!!!

'Skins got a new coach, Ovie is now captain, and Gilbert Arenas is now suspended indefinitely.

What the EFF. Is this a blessing in disguise? Will the Wizards be able to void the contract with Gil? I don't know, I heard that David Stern has to have a hand in that, for it to happen.

What really pisses me off is that I was hoping the Wiz would change their name back to the Bullets now that Abe has passed on and Teddy Leonsis may/may not take full ownership.

Guess that shit ain't happenin' anymore. Thanks for that Gil.

I gotta say, I like Gil but shit is just not going right for the Wiz right now. When you're losing like this and then you let this bullshit happen....you gotta go.

Although in a perfect world, we can void the contract and re-sign him for the league minimum.

Before you say, "Shheeeeeit...", hear me out.

Gilbert is a weirdo, who thinks backwards sometimes and he might go for some crazy shit like that to win back fans, especially since no other team is going to want to touch him (except maybe the dumbass Knicks, oh wait Isaiah Thomas isn't there anymore, nevermind).

Oh and Gilbert doesn't have an agent, remember? He did his contract on his own.

Genius.

Zero to Hero back to Zero.

0.

No, I will not talk about Mike Shanahan

He's finally here...and all of the DMV is excited. Super Bowl? Playoffs? PLAYOFFS??

There's really not much to say about this hire, that hasn't already been said all over the place from Facebook to the Junkies/Chad Dukes and Lavar a.k.a. The Fan (listen here: http://www.cbssports.com/local/dc/radio), to twitter.

How do I feel about this hire? If we didn't go through this shit the last 4 times (Zorn, Gibbs 2.0, Spurrier, Schott) with Danny Snyder I'd be at full boner, but be as it may.....I'm at half chubb.

His press conference sounded encouraging....although I only got to listen to some of it, since my wonderful boss came by and dragged me to a meeting last minute, he seemed to be more in control already than Jimmy Zorn.

I guess you can compare this to being deprived from food for weeks and all of a sudden someone dropped a bagged lunch in front of you. You know that food will definitely feed you, you're just not sure if what's in is good yet.

Well at least the bagged lunch on the ground says Shanahan, and we know that's a brand name.

"I promise I won't disappoint you."

Nice start, Mikey. He acknowledged that we (YES I AM STILL A FAN) are sorely depressed and disappointed with the 'Skins.

Will he succumb to Danny S??? After all, he should have final say on football related decisions? right?

"We will work together..."

Fuck.

Who's Jack Burton?

Greetings! Welcome to my first attempt at a blog. There’s not going to be any real “theme” to my blog….I won’t focus on any particular topic, work, entertainment, sports, etc….I’m just going to write about what’s on my mind at that moment....

Don’t expect me to have correct grammar or splleing all the time…..this is not an English/Grammar paper….if you don’t like it, or want to grade me then go somewhere else….I just wanted a forum to write stuff that amuses me and may/may not amuse you. Hopefully I can steal a minute or two out of your day/night, especially if you’re at work surfing the net and are running out of things to check out.

I guess the first entry in my blog I should explain the title and why I picked it…..maybe I’ll slip in some tidbits about myself in there (or not).

What Jack Burton Says…..
I wasn’t sure what to name my first blog, I knew I wanted it to be “cool” and something that was familiar to me. I’m not smart enough to make it some clever, quirky saying, or a witty play-on-words-type title, so I just tried to think of some movie characters (from movies that I liked) that I thought were memorable and yet still a little “inside” enough to be considered “hip”.

My 2 finalists were Pvt Hudson (Aliens) and, of course, Jack Burton.
Pvt. Hudson is Bill Paxton’s character in Aliens. If you haven’t seen Aliens…kill yourself. If you don’t know who Bill Paxton is go to IMDB.com, find out who he is, then go to a mirror and call your self (in the words of Zach Galifiankis from Hangover) a re-tard. But if you don’t want to go to IMDB, then let me quote Pvt. Hudson and tell me if this doesn’t ring a bell. “That's it man, game over, man, game over!!!!”

Now who is Jack Burton.
For those “in the know”….you’ll already be a step ahead with the knowledge that Jack Burton is THE MAN. He’s the main character in Big Trouble in Little China. Ok, if you still lost….it’s Kurt Russell’s character in that movie. Go watch it and tell me that movie (as cheesy as it is) wasn’t ahead of it’s time. It had the cocky, cool, “hero” (Jack). It had not 1 but 2….TWO…hot chicks (one whitey and one asian chick), it had kung fu/karate, it had guns, it had magic wizard shit, and not only did this action movie try to scare you, it was funny as shit. Listen to the totally, dorky synthesizer music that the film uses as it’s “score”, and look at the freakin’ eighties neon lights all over the damn place!!! Half the shit that was cool then, became embarrassingly dated in the 90’s, but now is all “stylish” again! That was Jack Burton. Yeah, he was the “hero” of the movie, he had the Hollywood good looks, but if you pay attention, he really didn’t do shit. It was the tiny asian guy that actually kicked ass. Jack had his moments, but he was more comic relief….which was fine. Movie studios needed that cool white guy to sell the movie….which is probably why it tanked in the theaters back then. The movie studios tried to sell it as a serious action movie, when it really was John Carpenter’s version of a B-movie homage.

Now I actually wanted to use Pvt. Hudson and call the blog “Game Over, Man…” and http://www.gameoverman.blogspot.com/. But….
For anyone who knows me, they know I spent 4 years in the beloved Marine Corps. I didn’t want to use Hudson for my blog title and have people think, “Ooooh…..it’s because they were Marines in that movie, that’s why he picked that.” No, dummy that’s not it. It’s not that I care what other people think, but….I care what other people think. I think the character is the funniest thing in the movie, besides Sigourney Weaver’s man-haircut. Anyways that’s the first reason for not using him.

The second reason? http://www.gameoverman.blogspot.com/ was taken.

So there you have it.

Once again welcome, and hopefully you can spread the word to other to read my posts, so this place doesn’t end up being a stupid diary to myself.

And of course as Jack Burton says, “… You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president.”